


That's a Fucking Michelle Branch Song

by compo67



Series: Chicago Verse [57]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baking, Dialogue-Only, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Established Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Series, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-30
Updated: 2014-11-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 12:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2693741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/compo67/pseuds/compo67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam wants to know: is Dean gay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's a Fucking Michelle Branch Song

“Dean?”

“Hmm.”

“Are you gay?”

“…Jesus, fuck, what?”

“Are you gay?”

“What? Like… am I gay right now?”

“You heard me.”

“So you mean right now, right _now_?”

“I’m trying to have a conversation—you know, that thing grown ups do?”

“And I’m trying to make banana bread for your ass. Oh, wait, does doing that make me gay?”

“Could you just…”

“I’m baking, Sam. Isn’t that my answer? Would it help if I shaped the dough into a giant cock? Because I can do that. Totally willing to do it.”

“Conversation…”

“I know—I know. But the real question is… would you still eat the cock bread?”

“…”

“I would. Heh. From the balls up.”

“You’re a child.”

“And you’re a fucking spoiled little shit standing there without offering to help. Plus, you’d waste perfectly good cock bread.”

“You won’t let me help!”

“Well, this _is_ a little more complicated than opening a box and pouring cereal into a bowl.”

“You’re just gonna ignore my question.”

“It’s a shitty question, gotta say.”

“Whatever. I’m…”

“This might’ve been a good question to ask two hours ago.”

“Huh?”

“When you know, I had you face down, ass up.”

“Hey!”

“Before you whined at me to make you some stupid banana bread. You and your hippie dippy food.”

“It’s… I… mmph.”

“Chew.”

“…”

“Swallow. Heh. Too easy.”

“Mmmphfugbuu.”

“I already did that to you, jerkass. How’s that taste? That’s the first batch. Fucking walnuts. Y’know, they’re so god damn expensive. I weighed ‘em. Just to see. Not a fucking cent cheaper if you buy them whole, plus, get this, you still have to crack them open. Who has time to sit there and bust nuts?”

“…”

“You’re not laughing. That was hilarious! Bust nuts. C’mon.”

“Too much brown sugar.”

“Now you’re just insulting me.”

“You could answer my question.”

“Not now. Baking. Fuck. That is too much sugar. Shit.”

“Told you.”

“…no.”

“Huh?”

“Second batch is going in. Set the timer for an hour—that’s sixty minutes, Sasquatch.”

“I know that! But, what did you…”

“No, I don’t miss sleeping with women. I’m not answering your other question—that’s just stupid, dip shit. But no. I don’t. So whatever your massive head is wheelin’ around in there, leave me the hell out of it. Do you?”

“I… no.”

“It’s like someone very wise once said—you’re everything I know that makes me believe I’m not alone.”

“Dean.”

“Shut up.”

“Dean…”

“I said zip it, Sammy.”

“Ha… I just… oh god…”

“If you don’t quit laughing, I’m wrapping this up and taking it to the guys at work. _They_ appreciate me.”

“I’ll be good.”

“Damn right you will. Fuck face.”

“…pffft…”

“Sam!”

“That’s a fucking Michelle Branch song!”

“Now who’s gay?!”

“Hey!”

“You’re fired.”

“What? You can’t fire me.”

“Yeah, I can. You’re fired from taste tester. I’m calling… mmph…”

“Thank god, that shuts you up. Mm.”

“…mm.”

“Mm?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Mm.”

“Sam.”

“Dean.”

“If you waaaaaant toooooo, I can saaaaave yooooouuuu.”

“Ugh! Let go of my ass!”

“No, no—I can taaaaake yooooouuuu awaaaay from heeeeere!”

“I’m gonna break your arms…”

“Sammy, all you wanted was somebooooody who caaaaaares.”

“…stop.”

“Okay.”

“…you’re a real douchebag, Dean.”

“That’s probably true.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure, Sammy. Any time.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm in a weird mood. i survived yet another black friday but i'm just... ded. -_- maybe some rest will do me good. and this drabble of fluff, with some plot mixed in.
> 
> let me know if everyone's in character. i feel like dialogue only pieces are hardest to maintain that.
> 
> thank you all. <333


End file.
